you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
