The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
