My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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