yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
