remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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