i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you had me at cake vodka
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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