I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
