You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
why is half of my head shaved?
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