Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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