So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
