You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
