I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
