dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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