so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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