He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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