Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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