I showed him my bush... on skype.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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