Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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