Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
