I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
