I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
