you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
