Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
