We're facebook friends in real life
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize