I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
