Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There r osticjed everywhere
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
