I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
