I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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