So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
