Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
