Your face is a jimmy john
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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