Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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