well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
