My first STD was from a foam party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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