Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
