Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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