Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
