yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
