Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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