I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
