The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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