He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
