I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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