i barfeds in our rink
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
