i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
