Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
