the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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