Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
