Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
