No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
