Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
