Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
