he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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