I'm gonna have a badass scar
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
