it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
