3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
