Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
