the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
