If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
