Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
