I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
